Hosea 10:12

I am shoveling popcorn in my mouth...still struggling with eating my emotions...I know God is trying to tell me something but I'm not sure what...My last blog I talked about wicked Vegas and I'm over that but the devil is persistant. I struggle!!! I am broken--and honestly I am comfortable with the fact I am broken but I just want to always be moving forward and not stuck or back-pedaling. Its hard. There is a new challenge daily...

So last night I was at church for --with one voice--and someone said a verse was on their heart and it resignated with me. It is Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the lord, until he comes and showers righteousness on you. Hosea 10:12


The part that I really feel penetrated by is break up your unplowed ground. I ask myself where do I need some plowing. What area of my life have I left alone to long...hmmmmm...this is deep so I eat popcorn... not one piece at a time but as many as I can so that I have popcorn crumbs all over myself and my chair...like a child...hmmmmmmm. maybe its the next line that I need to hear...Do I need to seek the Lord more? Do I expose myself to too much evil...I read a commentary about this verse and it says that we are so busy with the multiplying evils of this world that we do not seek the Lord as we should...what evils am I preoccupied with?

This isn't the first time God has led me to Hosea. Its interesting! The book is not that uplifting and so I go hmmmmmmmmm...


Well all this has made me sleepy!!!

I pray Lord that you will reveal to me the area of my life that has been neglected--the area that you want me to break up and plow...I know Lord that you want what is best for me and that you have a plan for me and I trust you. You sent you son so that I can be saved and I want to be saved and part of that is digging up areas that are scary. I trust you Lord that you will hold my hand and help me dig. I know you won't make me do it--you give me a choice--but I choose you Lord. I choose to follow you! I do not want the devil to have a hold on me I want to deal with these things so that I can seek you completely--wholy--I am yours! Thank you for the cross! I pray also that you keep my family safe as we sleep this night and we wake up restored and rested--we wake up giving our day to you. Its in Jesus name that I pray amen!

momma--

eating my emotions

Hi there...

I am eating a cheese and potato chip sandwich...it is delicious! My dad always ate these when I was a kid... its better with fritos but I didn't have any...pototo chips are good too. Anyway, I have felt the urg to eat a lot again and that usually means I am stressed. So I am going to write and eat. Hope fully in writing I will stop thinking about eating.

I'm gonna do one of those just open the Bible and see where God wants me things...ok... here I go...

ok i opened up to page 401 in my Bible which is psalm 65,66,67...so which one do i read...hmmmmmmmmm

Ok so i'm leaning towards 66:7-12...I am going to write as it is written in the Message...Ever Sovereign in his high tower, he keeps his eye on the godless nations. Rebels don't dare raise a finger against him. Bless our God, O peoples! Give him a thunderous welcome! Didn't he set us on the road to life? Didn't he keep us out of the ditch? He trained us first, passed us like silver through refining fires, Brought us into hardscrabble country, pushed us to our very limit, Road-tested us inside and out, took us to hell and back; Finally he brought us to this well-watered place.


I am going to write in purple because it is my favorite color...

So when i read this passage I feel like I am hearing that we need to give God a great welcome because all the miracles He provides. I definately agree with this and often like to imagine what it will be like when I get to meet my maker. But what is standing out more for me is that be took us to hell and back. That he trained us first. Kept us out of the ditch...Sometimes, I feel intensely like I am falling into that ditch. That I am failing my training session! URGH!

Why do I let these lies penetrate me...

Let me share that last weekend while I was in Vegas the devil messed with me. It is crazy that as I grow in my faith and grow more intimately with God. I am more effected by sin or more disgusted by myself when I fall into it...Does that make sense?? I think as I realize all sins are equal I hold myself to a high standard. For example, I get caught up in gossip and I am like totally broken over it!!! I need to allow God's grace to pour over me. But I feel like I am oil to his water--and it won't penetrate and the more I try and just move on the more the devil can thrive!!! I need to figure out how to release the evil that is penetrating me and trying to wear me out and break me down. It needs to be released before I can move on and that is the struggle... I am struggling to let go of Vegas. I think part of it is that I know Dante is going to that dark place this weekend and I feel like the evil is going to come back through him too...



It says we will be tested inside and out...I feel like I am failing my test at the moment...I guess that means I am human and I reminds me how I need Gods grace...I pray that I wake up tomorrow free of this yuckiness. I pray that Dante is safe as he travels into the middle of the desert where the evil lurks for innocent victims. I pray I can allow Gods grace to soak in and in the morning I can wake up and be filled with love instead of this uncertain feeling...I am a daughter of Christ! I have been saved from hell...

Sorry hope I didn't depress you...I think I feel a little better...I might go eat a cookie...or not...lol

with love, momma avila