time to plow up this weed that wants to destroy my home!

Hi there friends...Its sunday morning and I feel like writing. I am at Flipside listening to the worship band warm up and they sing STIR IT UP IN OUR HEARTS LORD...GIVE ME A PASSION FOR YOUR NAME! Great song

Anyway yesterday I had a great conversation with 2 godly ladies and I really feel that it is time for me to really address some issues that I struggle with. I have tried long and hard to figure out how to get certain things I struggle with out of my life and I have made progress but I still totally struggle. I think what I figured out yesterday is well I knew this stuff but just needed to hear it again sortof--hope this makes sense.

so I was reminded that I can't just pray for these things to magically go away... things that i have struggled with for great lengths of time and that have been passed down to me generationally have deep roots and we all know how hard it is to get these deep roots all the way out. As we pull them from the soil little parts break up and get left behind and new sort of different looking weeds sprout up and can do just as much damage. I have to really dig this stuff up and make sure there is nothing left behind for the devil to nourish.

What does this mean...well I'm not sure but I think I have to tell God that I am ready to deal with it and I have to ask him to reveal to me things that I am not able to see because they either hurt to much so I have built walls of protection or maybe I cannot see them because I am in the mist of it...I don't know but basically I have to trust God with my heart and go to these scary places if I want to really be healed...not easy... but probably easier then dealing with the pain I am dealing with now.

I know God has nicely been trying to show me this for a while several months ago the verse from HOSEA 10:12 was brought to me and I thought about it for a while but turned away because I just wasn't ready to deal...I blogged on it in the past if you want to read that one to see what i was saying back then...the verse goes Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord, until he comes and showers righteousness on you. HOSEA 10:12

So this morning I prayed for just this...I asked God to begin to reveal to me the things I need to deal with in order to truly be the mom, wife, friend, daughter and person that I am destined to be! PRAY FOR ME--that I won't turn away when it is hard and that I will take one step closer each day--these places need to be plowed so my garden can truly grow(thats for you shellie).

Thank you Lord--I truly love my life...it is such a blessing to see the sunrise and set each day and to see the stars in the sky and to breath in fresh air each day and to get to have precious children in my home to care for and to have a home and to have a husband and to have a garden...I know these are all blessings that you have given me and I thank you for all these things...Thank you for grace...TO YOU BE THE GLORY AMEN!!!

GOING CAMPING--

AND THE KING WAS PLACED FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SHOW DISGRACE BUT ONLY BEAUTY FLOWED FROM THIS PLACE--

these words are lyrics from a song by Jeremy Camp. The song is called This Man. It asks would you take the place of this man??

This morning during my time with God these words--and the king was placed for all the world to show disgrace but only beauty flowed from this place--brought me to tears lots of tears. I was visualizing Jesus on the cross. Attacked by mean words, being accused of all kinds of things, tortured in front of all kinds of witnesses and more. I picture it and then to think that while this is such an ugly-evil act it is also the reason why He came. To show us the depth of His grace and to wash away our sins. I really cannot wrap my mind around it but all I know is I found myself drenched in tears in a booth at PANERA this morning praising God for Jesus.

WOULD YOU TAKE THE PLACE OF THIS MAN??

what a loaded question...

I won't even begin to answer it but I ask you to ponder it for a moment...

So here I am 13 days into 2010 and looking forward to a new journey...What journey you ask?? Many lovely ladies are teaming up with me to try to get WOMENS MINISTRY thriving at FLIPSIDE! Please be praying for us...that we will allow God to give us shape. SO EXCITED!!!

thank you Jesus