2009 recap

Hi there--I have not blogged in a loooong time. when its cold I am not the most productive of people. I am definitely a California girl! Anyway I am thinking of the year almost over and wanted to take a moment to revisit some important things that happened this year.

* started volunteering more at church which led to being asked to be on staff as director of womens ministry

**Rob and Sarah(my bro and his wife) got back together after over a year of separation. PRAISE GOD!--that one was of the hardest times in my life...God really guided me through those dark times and I was also blessed with amazing ladies to lean on in those times.

***Introduced to Beth Moore Esther study--GREAT STUFF...bust also met 2 amazing ladies through the process Pam Smith and Eileen Watson

****SUNRISE STUDY GROUP--this is my 6am study group with Lisa Andria and Jaymee(and in the beginning Ashley)

*on a sad note many divorces of good friends Salcedo's, Watkins, Watkins, Whit, Cunningham but 2 great friends married Kosta and Alex and Jenny and Mark

*****Jovan starts preschool

*******I lost 35lbs and dropped from a 10 to a 6.

A few topics that have been on my heart this year...vaccinations--I am a skeptic on the amount of vaccinations that we give our kids today...I have given this topic to God and feel at peace with the decisions that Dante and I have made on behalf of our children.

Another topic I have been seeking wisdom on is whether to start Jovan in kindergarten in 2010 or 2011. We have decided 2011.

this topics have penetrated my heart a lot this year and I have sought much wise council in the matters and am at peace with my decisions.

In 2010 I want to yell less at my kids...I want to be more organized and tithe better!


Thanks for listening...

Goodnight!

verse for today...

Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name 1 Chronicles 16:34

2 corinthians 4:4-5

The god of this age has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus sake.

Blind stab again today!

I'm gonna break this one down and see where i end up...

The god of this age--this is not speaking of GOD this is speaking of money.
Has blinded the minds of unbelievers--if you do not believe in Jesus Christ you are blind
So that they cannot see--those that don't believe are missing
the light of the Gospel--the gospel has a light
of the glory of Christ--there is glory in our savior he is the light
who is the image of God--Jesus Christ is made in the image of God
For we do not preach ourselves--we do not/should not speak about our greatness
but Jesus Christ as Lord-- instead we speak about His greatness
and ourselves as your servants for Jesus sake--we are here to serve God because of the sacrifice at the cross!


WHAT I AM HEARING---If you are a believer if you understand that the gospels have brought us knowledge of our savior Jesus--you will not be blinded by false gods(money, fame, fashion etc)

The sad thing is that often believers are blinded by these things.

A believer should not talk about their own greatness but instead about the greatness of Jesus who was made in the image of God.

The sad thing is ...I don't even need to say it...right??

The great thing is god loves us even though we mess it up, even though we are broken and greedy and selfish and let money run our life's...

God loves even the ones who choose to not believe in HIM...


I choose to believe...i cannot turn back from where I have been...things are no longer the same for me...the light has penetrated my soul and I never want to be without it again!

I would love my parents to be healed. I pray Lord that my dad will wake up healed of his tumor--that it will be gone from him--a miracle. My parents would have no choice but to believe...i pray a friend from high school Ashley who is fighting cancer will have the strength to conquer this disease I pray she would know you Lord that she would feel your presence as she has major surgery to remove the cancer from her body...

So many hurting people who don't believe and I pray for soft hearts...

I love my life...I thank you for the thousands of blessing that I receive daily...

Goodnight--mommaavila

VERSE OF THE DAY

We live by faith, not by sight 2 Corinthians 5:7

This is my verse for the day and what I hear it saying to me is HAVE FAITH--we may not be able to see the end result of things, we may not be able to see how it is all gonna work out, we may not like the way it is looking, blah blah blah...the point is to have faith even in these ugly times. If we go off what we see we will be lost. Faith is the only thing that we can count on.

I am praying that the people closest to me will know the Lord. Truly know his love. Truly know that He is the key to unlocking our heart of the depression and disappointments. He is the only one who can handle all the hurt we feel and He wants to hold us in our depression and disappointments. He can heal. He wants to share the burden. He wants to take!! Jen &Dan in my prayers tonight! I pray they come to church tomorrow!

Goodnight!

I'm in a new pot ---its scary!!!

Ok so I got to talk to Shellie tonight and she helped me so much! (praise God)

Lately I have been feeling lonely, afraid and insecure. Shellie helped me understand the reason I have been feeling this way.

I hope I can explain it well. I'll try...

When I became a follower of Christ --I began to grow. My roots and all became too big for the pot I was in. I needed to be transported into a new pot because I was going to die if I stayed in my old pot. . .So now as I have been put in this new pot I cannot feel the edges, I do not know the boundaries, it is exciting because I have all this room to grow--but it is scary! The old pot was getting a bit cramped but I knew my boundaries --I knew my place. I was comfortable there. God has so much more to teach me and I want to learn--I want to continue growing . But it feels a bit lonely and scary right now.

This visual is totally helping me understand my feelings and I am excited to see where God is taking me!!

My verse for the day is...He summons his picked troops, yet they stumble on their way. They dash to the city wall; the protective shield is put in place.

God I pray that you protect my heart. I pray that I can have open hands and a protected heart. I pray that when I am attacked by the evil one that your hand is over my heart. I pray that in times of trials I allow you to be at work in my heart. I pray that when I am tested I can allow the holy spirit to flow through me and that I can pass the test in love. Thank you lord for loving me as I stand before you broken and shamed! Thank you, Thank you Thank you! AMEN

Goodnight my friends--momma avila

blind stab

SINCE WE HAVE NOW BEEN JUSTIFIED BY HIS BLOOD, HOW MUCH MORE SHALL WE BE SAVED FROM GOD'S WRATH THROUGH HIM. ROMANS 5:9

This is my blind stab verse for my blog today...

I like the way it reads in The Message version of the Bible. It says...Now that we are right with God by means of this sacrificial death, the consummate blood sacrifice, there is no longer a question of being at odds with God in any way. If when we are at our worst, we were put on friendly terms with God by the sacrificial death of his Son, now that we're at our best, just think of how our lives will expand and deepen by means of His resurrection life!

This is a hard verse for me to discuss.

I am hearing it say that because of the sacrificial death--we are saved from God's wrath. At our worst God saved us so of course He will save us when we are at our best. (Not sure if I am at my best--but I am working on it)

makes me think of this song it asks This is your life are you who you want to be? Whenever I hear it I am reminded of all the areas I want to improve.

I know I have much room for improvement but I am so much better then I used to be without God in my life. I need to remember that I have grown so much in the last few years of my life and since I have understood that I don't have to conquer this world alone.

I have been so blessed with amazing mentor-wise-friends-elders in my life. I totally prayed for them and God totally gave it to me and because of these ladies and God I am stronger, wiser and more ok in my own skin! Thank you Shellie, Pam, Lisa, Chela, Andria, Michele, Eileen. Thank you for always making time for me. Thank you for continuing to pour into me. Thank you for doing it without me even asking. Thank you for understanding my heart even when my words are all mixed up! Praise god for answered prayers!

ok---now I am gonna run and watch Dancing with the stars---is that bad??

goodnight!

will you run the race or miss the race??

HEBREWS 12:1-- Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

hi there--the warfare has been hard lately...changing seasons of my life leave me weary and vulnerable. I am constantly having to tell myself --I am good enough, I can do this, I am not a failure and similar things...I wish the devil would stop filling my head with doubt! I even see Dante getting attacked with doubt...I hate it!

Juliette was walking around the house today saying " Happy family--Happy Family--Happy family" Dante and I needed to hear these words--Praise God for her words...

Anyway back to Hebrews 12:1--why is it so hard to run the race?...all this junk slowing me down...doubt is only one thing even if I was able to conquer doubt then I have this annoying desire to eat my emotions rather then deal with them. Then there is the financial burden that weighs heavy on us/me. I suck at money! Then there is this nagging feeling of wanting to have a nice clean house. Then there is the TV. Then there is blah, blah, blah I could just go on and on! All these things keep me/us from running the race that God has marked out for me/us.

I just want to run it! I want to see my friends, family, strangers, everyone run it! Can you imagine how beautiful it would be if we would all just get all the junk out of the way and just run the race!


GOD IS SO AMAZING THAT HE PATIENTLY WAITS FOR US TO CLEAR THE JUNK--and some of us probably never do clear the junk and so we miss out on the race...but the even more beautiful thing is He loves us anyway...He loves us even though we might go through life and miss the race that he marked out for us...that is mind boggling!--and what if missing the race is running the race--ok now I getting to deep for my own good!!

PRAYER REQUEST--I have so many close friends and family that do not know the Lord. I pray that I can do my part for God to teach them(whether that means words, acts of service or whatever). I cannot continue to ignore the urgency of their salvation. I just ask that you pray that God can begin to open their hearts and that I can listen and know my part.

GOOD NIGHT FRIENDS! momma

Hosea 10:12

I am shoveling popcorn in my mouth...still struggling with eating my emotions...I know God is trying to tell me something but I'm not sure what...My last blog I talked about wicked Vegas and I'm over that but the devil is persistant. I struggle!!! I am broken--and honestly I am comfortable with the fact I am broken but I just want to always be moving forward and not stuck or back-pedaling. Its hard. There is a new challenge daily...

So last night I was at church for --with one voice--and someone said a verse was on their heart and it resignated with me. It is Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the lord, until he comes and showers righteousness on you. Hosea 10:12


The part that I really feel penetrated by is break up your unplowed ground. I ask myself where do I need some plowing. What area of my life have I left alone to long...hmmmmm...this is deep so I eat popcorn... not one piece at a time but as many as I can so that I have popcorn crumbs all over myself and my chair...like a child...hmmmmmmm. maybe its the next line that I need to hear...Do I need to seek the Lord more? Do I expose myself to too much evil...I read a commentary about this verse and it says that we are so busy with the multiplying evils of this world that we do not seek the Lord as we should...what evils am I preoccupied with?

This isn't the first time God has led me to Hosea. Its interesting! The book is not that uplifting and so I go hmmmmmmmmm...


Well all this has made me sleepy!!!

I pray Lord that you will reveal to me the area of my life that has been neglected--the area that you want me to break up and plow...I know Lord that you want what is best for me and that you have a plan for me and I trust you. You sent you son so that I can be saved and I want to be saved and part of that is digging up areas that are scary. I trust you Lord that you will hold my hand and help me dig. I know you won't make me do it--you give me a choice--but I choose you Lord. I choose to follow you! I do not want the devil to have a hold on me I want to deal with these things so that I can seek you completely--wholy--I am yours! Thank you for the cross! I pray also that you keep my family safe as we sleep this night and we wake up restored and rested--we wake up giving our day to you. Its in Jesus name that I pray amen!

momma--

eating my emotions

Hi there...

I am eating a cheese and potato chip sandwich...it is delicious! My dad always ate these when I was a kid... its better with fritos but I didn't have any...pototo chips are good too. Anyway, I have felt the urg to eat a lot again and that usually means I am stressed. So I am going to write and eat. Hope fully in writing I will stop thinking about eating.

I'm gonna do one of those just open the Bible and see where God wants me things...ok... here I go...

ok i opened up to page 401 in my Bible which is psalm 65,66,67...so which one do i read...hmmmmmmmmm

Ok so i'm leaning towards 66:7-12...I am going to write as it is written in the Message...Ever Sovereign in his high tower, he keeps his eye on the godless nations. Rebels don't dare raise a finger against him. Bless our God, O peoples! Give him a thunderous welcome! Didn't he set us on the road to life? Didn't he keep us out of the ditch? He trained us first, passed us like silver through refining fires, Brought us into hardscrabble country, pushed us to our very limit, Road-tested us inside and out, took us to hell and back; Finally he brought us to this well-watered place.


I am going to write in purple because it is my favorite color...

So when i read this passage I feel like I am hearing that we need to give God a great welcome because all the miracles He provides. I definately agree with this and often like to imagine what it will be like when I get to meet my maker. But what is standing out more for me is that be took us to hell and back. That he trained us first. Kept us out of the ditch...Sometimes, I feel intensely like I am falling into that ditch. That I am failing my training session! URGH!

Why do I let these lies penetrate me...

Let me share that last weekend while I was in Vegas the devil messed with me. It is crazy that as I grow in my faith and grow more intimately with God. I am more effected by sin or more disgusted by myself when I fall into it...Does that make sense?? I think as I realize all sins are equal I hold myself to a high standard. For example, I get caught up in gossip and I am like totally broken over it!!! I need to allow God's grace to pour over me. But I feel like I am oil to his water--and it won't penetrate and the more I try and just move on the more the devil can thrive!!! I need to figure out how to release the evil that is penetrating me and trying to wear me out and break me down. It needs to be released before I can move on and that is the struggle... I am struggling to let go of Vegas. I think part of it is that I know Dante is going to that dark place this weekend and I feel like the evil is going to come back through him too...



It says we will be tested inside and out...I feel like I am failing my test at the moment...I guess that means I am human and I reminds me how I need Gods grace...I pray that I wake up tomorrow free of this yuckiness. I pray that Dante is safe as he travels into the middle of the desert where the evil lurks for innocent victims. I pray I can allow Gods grace to soak in and in the morning I can wake up and be filled with love instead of this uncertain feeling...I am a daughter of Christ! I have been saved from hell...

Sorry hope I didn't depress you...I think I feel a little better...I might go eat a cookie...or not...lol

with love, momma avila

Ladies night

God has me working on a ladies night at my church. It will be on mondays starting mid september. It will be not only a time to study the word together but also to fellowship and pray together. I am excited to be a part of it and hope that I can allow God to be the guide. I pray that ladies will come and be fed(strengthened). It is my desire to strengthen ladies at Flipside so they can be more powerful tools for the Lord.

"So I will strengthen them in the Lord. And they shall walk up and down in His name" --Zechariah 10:12

Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down and the feeble knees. And make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed. --Hebrews 12:12-13

And he went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches. --Acts 15:41


"for the lamb who is in the midst of the throne will shepherd them and lead them to living fountains of waters. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes." --Revelation 7:17

But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Christ His Son cleanes us from all sin. --1 John 1:7



So when I read all these verses I hear God communicating to me that He will strengthen me and rid me of sin. Thank you Lord oh thank you because we all know I was headed to hell! But, I also hear Him saying that He wants me to then help Him strengthen others. It is not just about Him strengthening me but then me allowing Him to use ME to strengthen others.(read that again because I may have lost you with my poor grammar skills) If I walk in the light or help make straight paths for others then I can lead others to the fountain of living water. --I can help God wipe away their tears. I can be a light for all the hurting people in my life! Oh LORD--this is so intense!!! Does this make sense to you? I hope it does---It makes sense to me and I know it means I must do my best to strengthen ladies at Flipside! So that the ladies at Flipside will be lights in their lives too. The more lights go on the darkness will turn into light!


Okay I will stop...

God is amazing...

LOVE IT LOVE HIM LOVE YOU LOVE THE GREATEST COMMANDMENT! LOVE LOVE LOVE!

closing one door opening another!

Just finished up the Esther Study by beth moore--Beth Moore is amazing and so are all the ladies I was blessed to study with!

I learned that if I perish I perish but I cannot allow my destiny to pass me by!

I learned that even when you can't see Him-- He is in it!

I learned that God is the only one who can get me out of this mess! So I must wait on Him...and while I wait I will serve!!

That is just to name a few of the things I learned.

Anyway, each lady I meet at Flipside is such a blessing and this group allowed me to meet many ladies. Thank you Lord for answered prayers.

Next will be another Monday night study it will start mid september. Guide me Lord! Connect me Lord!

goodnight--sparkle

crown of creation

I am reading a book called Captivating by John and stasi Elderidge. It is good. I recommend it! Anyway, I am gonna quote it...


Given the way creation unfolds, how it builds to ever higher and higher works of art, can there be any doubt that eve is the crown of creation? Not an afterthought. Not a nice addition like an ornament on a tree. She is God's final touch. She fills a place in the world nothing and no one else can fill. Step to a window, ladies, if you can. Better still, find some place with a view. Look out across the earth and say to yourselves, "The whole vast world is incomplete without me. Creation reached its zenith in me"


Pretty intense!

One the first day God gave us light--day and night.

One the second day God gave us Sky--He called it Heaven.

On the third day God gave us dry Land--He called it Earth. He allowed the land to produce vegatation--seed bearing plants.

On the fourth day God made 2 great lights--one to govern the day and one to govern the night(sun and moon)--they were to serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years.

On the fifth day God created living creatures.

On the sixth day God created man in his image. He said it is not good for man to be alone and saw that Adam had no suitable helper. He created Woman. --the crown of creation.

Then on the seventh day He rested!

I get all this information from the Bible-- Genesis 1-2.

Anyway, yes ladies we are the crown of creation without us this world is incomplete. Man is not meant to be alone. Man and Woman are not meant to be independent of each other but complete in each other--husband and wife becoming one flesh.

Before I knew Christ--I always thought it was good to be an independent woman-- not to need my husband. But I do need him and he needs me. We need to allow each other this. It does not make either of us weak; it makes us stronger. This is something that the world has confused for most people I know. The world says be independent--you are weak if you need a man/woman--bla bla bla. But the point is to remember who our creator is and what He says about man and woman. Forget what the world says--what are the divorce rates these days more then 50% fail. So I think the world clearly has screwed up marriage. We need to get back to why it(marriage) was created. Man was not meant to be alone & it keeps us holy etc...

Thank you God for bringing me to my amazing husband. I believe you brought us together because we make a good team. We believe in each other and encourage each other. We want to live life in the same manner--people first--passion first--love first!!! We will not be a slave to the dollar. We will choose you Lord. Everyday I choose you Lord! Thank you for the cross--AMEN!

hi...I just screamed at my kids...I hate it when I do this! But I am sad to say it happens sometimes. There is no excuse it is wrong. But I am going to tell you about my morning...Juliette decided to wake up at 5:30am. I am ok with 630 but I do not like 530. It just isn't fair! So anyway so that Jovan and Dante could continue to sleep I shut her door and tried to sleep somemore while she did whatever she was doing. This is just a really annoying way to start the day!!! ALL AGREED!!

So then I finally got up at 7ish made my family breakfast. Went to the store real quick to pick up a few things. Came home and realized that there was spilt juice on the floor that I hadn't noticed before so ANTS everywhere. . .FUNTIMES---today is laundry day so that is what I was doing all morning...while the kids play and make messes:) Gave the kids and my brother and me an early lunch and figured Juliette would nap early today(usually naps 1-3) so at noon I tried to get her down. I really just needed to have a moment to be still with the Lord.(not possible when she is awake). I laid down with her hoping she would sleep and NOPE--she wants to play...So since I am having a couple friends over tonight. I figured I would make them both nap(jov doesn't nap these days) and so at 1pm we all laid down in the big bed together and it was one thing after another I want water, i want to watch tv, I want my blue hot wheel, I want a snack, at 130 I had had IT!!! I SCREAMED "I NEED A BREAK, GO TO SLEEP, I NEED A BREAK!!!"

My throat actually hurts now. Isn't that something to be proud of...


SORRY LORD, I should not treat my children this way. They are yours and I should be a better mom. Teach me Lord patience...teach me Lord to act as an adult in these moments and not as a psycho... more of you and less of me. . . I know you forgive me but I need to forgive myself. . .I am gonna go listen to some worship music and hopefully I will feel better!

sharing my testimony

Hi there-- I just want to say I just had a amazing time meeting with Cristabel. She is amazing and I know God has connected me to her for a reason and I am excited about it! i am getting more and more involved with womens ministry stuff at Flipside and it is such a blessing when I get to hang out with ladies and get to know their heart. I love love love love it!!!



Ok so about my testimony. I shared it with my mugs n muffins ladies a few weeks ago and I think it went well.



As I prepared for it I was led to 1 Peter 3:15--But sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence. -- I think this means that God wants us to have our testimony prepared in our heart. It is a tool that can be used to defend my faith and it is powerful. It is not meant to be kept secret, it is meant to be shared. It is meant to be shared with pre/non believers. It is fine to share amongst believers as well but it is truly meant to be shared as an account for the hope that is in you to people who do not have the same hope.



I felt the Lord telling me --it is great that you are sharing your testimony in your Bible study that will deepen your relationship with those ladies but it is just a practice field. Ultimately you are called to share it with non-believers.-- In Acts 26 Paul shares his testimony with non-believers and it is a great example. I used it to prepare my own.



If you do not have a testimony prepared I want to encourage you to prepare it! To me it is clear that God wants it ready in your heart.



The crazy thing is that once I shared(practiced it) with my Bible study. I was immediately(one week later) called to share it with a non believer. that person is a close friend of my husband who is thinking of divorce. Through sharing my testimony that person has commited to coming to church. God is so good!! But all I am saying is don't block God from using you by saying-- I don't really have a testimony or my testimony isn't worth sharing-- because we each have a unique testimony that has been given to us by our creator and each testimony is equally important!







good night and god bless, momma A

I haven't had internet in 3 months!!!

To whom it may concern:

I finally got internet at home and it feels great. I have missed writing in my blog. I'm not really sure if anyone reads it but it has made me sad that I haven't written in so long! Anyway, finances are killing us slowly and there in no end of it in sight. Dante has little to no work and since no one likes to have candle parties I am unable to contribute. I know I could go back to work but I am not sure that is the right thing for my family.

Dante has to take any work he can get so he cannot stay home with the kids so if I go back to work then we have to pay for child care which almost makes it useless for me to work. I KNOW GOD HAS IT ALL UNDER CONTROL-- but I won't lie I get really freaked out sometimes. . .I mean REALLY freaked out. Especially when I look at the credit card balances--urg!!! I hate money and ultimately i know it is not important and that God will provide but its just hard!!!

I feel God telling to take care of all the loose ends and then the path will be more clear. So I have ordered certified copies of my kids birth certifcates and our marriage license. This is all stuff that I just never did--why?? cuz I can be really lazy about anything that involves paperwork!!! I am about to celebrate my 6yr anniversary and I haven'y changed my name officially to AVILA(this doesn't bug Dante). It really bugs my in-laws and my brother! I will do this as soon as I get my marriage license. Health care for my family is bad too. We pay way to much so I am trying to research and find better solutions. --these are some examples of the loose ends I think God wants me taking care of. Each time I accomplish something I feel good for 2 seconds until I look at the long list of todo's i still have to complete...

okay so enough complaining.

I love my life. My kids are so awesome! Dante is a great husband. I have a home and a car(in the shop getting a new radiator but I have a car). I have food in the fridge. I have internet. I have great friends. I love seeing women grow at Flipside church and I love the relationships I am forming there. In the last year I have met some awesome ladies. I am gonna give a shout out right now to some of the ladies God has blessed me with in the last year
Lisa H(you have been a huge blessing for my growth as a christian and a mom),
Andria--such a blessing that I get to call you my friend,
Kim C(my financial adviser and accountability partner--thanks for doing the hard stuff with me--LOVE YOU),
Heather M.--love your stories and love your heart--can't wait til you find time to work with me on a blog!,
Lindsay H.--not sure where we are headed but I know it is somewhere together. . .and I am excited to take this adventure with you.
Beth H--such an amazing example of unconditional love!
Frances--love your energy and passion for working for our Lord!
Cristabel--so sincere and real.
Jaymee G.--my prayer warrior friend--you have helped me step up the prayer in my life. I know you have more to teach me--can't wait!,
Chela-Matthew 6:33--you are an answered prayer in so many ways.
Michele--love, love, love, you have seriously helped me let go of some serious termoil in my life!!!
Jen A. a silent beauty and this is such a treasure--I love spending time with you!,
Kamy--its your marriage that inspires me-- you guys truly bring out the best in each other! Pam--you are so warm and hospitable. I feel so warm and welcomed in your presence.
Eileen--you seriously are a selfless person who sacrifices not only for your family but for people in general. That is a rare treasure!!
Nicole--I don't know you that well but I laugh a lot when we are together and that is awesome! Ashley--best hugs--

Finally my luv dove--shellie--I struggle to find the words but basically without me even asking you have taken me in under you wings. I am so blessed to have you in my life and I will stop there but I hope you know the special place you have in my heart!


alright I feel better--good night--sparkle:)

pity party

I feel sad today. . .I had a lot of time with God today, so it's not that. It's just people disappoint. It is hard not to get discouraged by people. I know we are flawed, imperfect, and all that but sometimes you just want to be treated a certain way and it just doesn't happen and it is just dissapointing and sad. . . I need to stop my pity party but I am in a funk. URGH!!!

There is so much to do I don't know where to start. There isn't enough money to pay the bills and i just want to hide from them. Health insurance is a joke and I might as well cancel it but that is scary! People around me are hurting and I just don't know how to pray for them anymore! URGH!

Okay I am going to go make dinner and hopefully when I see my kiddos face in about 20 minutes the pity party will go away.

Sorry This is not an encouraging blog but sometimes we all need a good cry! I guess that is where I am at!

I still love you, Heather

NO MORE LIES!!!

To whom it may concern:

I am not sure if anyone reads this blog but I do it for more then my readers. It helps me grow in my walk with Christ and it shows God my heart. God doesn’t need this blog to know my heart and I understand this-- but I need to do this. It’s one of those things—my husband knows I love him but I still need to tell him—does that make sense?? So if you are reading this blog (or not) I do it for my savior, my heart and in hopes that a seed might get planted in your heart—

Anyway, onto my blog for the day. . .My theme of late seems to be--separating lies from truth. I think this is called discernment. As I grow closer to Jesus I am getting better at this. The other day I was sending out a prayer request and I heard a voice in my head say “you are such a phony” I actually started to believe it for a moment and then I quickly realized that it was an evil spirit trying to break me down. No thankyou!!! I must be full of things true and I am NO phony, Jesus is my savior and I have given my life over to him. Psalms 119:30 I have chosen the way of the truth; I have set my heart on your laws.


The other day my daily devotional was from Romans 8. It talks about how nothing can “drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us.” It says not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture. Romans 8:37--In all these things we are more than victorious through Him who loved us.

Ephesians 6:14--Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place


I think every single day most of us struggle with some sort of lie or another. Maybe it is “I am not good enough!” or “God can’t fix the mess I am in” or “When in comes to finances, I can’t just give it to God.” or “I will never have the body that I want” or “Marriage is just too hard—I give up!” ---whatever lie you are faced with and maybe you don’t even recognize it as a lie. I pray that you will allow truth to penetrate you heart, your soul, your life. God is enough, He can handle it, He can be trusted with even your finances, your body is a temple (if you hold lies inside there is no peace), be victorious through Christ, stand firm with the belt of truth!!


Philippians 4:8-9 Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst, the beautiful, not the ugly, things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.




I love you, Heather--Momma--Avila

Help Meet

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. --KJV

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” --NIV

And the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him." --NLT

And then there was woman. . .


I am reading an intense book called Help Meet and to say the least you have to have an open heart and a commitment to live like it says in the Bible to read this book and not throw it in a fire. A few years ago I would have burned it!!!

Anyway, it is totally making me a better wife!!!! and if you know me I am always trying to get better at everything I do. . .So this is a great book!

I just got done reading about Chaste(pure)--pure in thought, word, and act, and to be modest and honorable in all things. . .all things. . . all things . . .yes that is what I said . . .all things. . .as it reads in the Bible. . .


Titus 2:3-5 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. --NIV


The aged women likewise, that [they be] in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, [To be] discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. --KJV


These are not easy things in the world we live in today. . .Let me just say that I am work in progress and that I trust that God loves me regardless of my struggle to be all these things!


I am going to bed--sweet dreams--momma

Why be baptized??

To my readers--

Last night my church did baptisms. I got to see several people that are special to be be baptized(Jenny, Braden, Heather) it was such a holy hour.

That leads me to why be baptized. . . For me personally i just felt like it was something I needed to do to declare my faith. I wanted people to understand how important my faith was to me and this was a way I could express it. (I think this blog takes on a similar role for me). Here are some verses about baptism.

1 Peter 3:21--And this is a picture of baptism, which now saves you by the power of Jesus Christ's resurrection. Baptism is not a removal of dirt from your body; it is an appeal to God from a clean conscience.


Acts 38-39-- Peter replied, "repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and all who are far off--for all whome the Lord our God will call"


1 corinthians 12:13--For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body-whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free-and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.


Galatians 3:27--for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.

I am clothed in Christ. How amazing is it that I was once clothed in guess jeans and now I am clothed in Jesus. I once was lost and now I'm found. . .thank you Jesus!

Grace

Grace--an undeserved favor or gift; the undeserving forgiveness, kindness and mercy that God gives us.

Romans 6:14
Sin is no longer your master, for you are no longer subject to the law, which enslaves you to sin. Instead, you are free by God's grace.

2Corinthians 4:15
All of these things are for your benefit. And as God's grace brings more and more people to Christ, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory.


Jonah 2:8
"Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.

Galatians 2:21
I am not one of those who treats the grace of God as meaningless. For if we could be saved by keeping the law, then there was no need for Christ to die.

2John 1:3
May grace, mercy, and peace, which come from God our Father and from Jesus Christ his Son, be with us who live in truth and love.

Revelations 22:21
The grace of the Lord Jesus be with you all.

Grace. . .Grace. . .Grace

I am a sinner. I need God's grace.

I want to explain grace in a way that people who don't know Christ would understand. . .but i struggle. . . Before I knew Christ I would have already stopped reading. So I am not sure what I can say to keep you reading and convince you that you too need God's grace.

I have so many things that I struggle with. . .I yell at my kids too much, I say mean things to my husband sometimes, I judge people sometimes, and there is more but I will stop there. The point is that at the end of the day I cannot hold on to this stuff I have to understand that I have been given the gift of grace. I need to go to sleep in prayer that I will do better tomorrow, that I am not perfect and I never will be. I need to be thankful for all the amazing things that God has granted me. . .my beautiful children, an amazing husband, a roof over my head, food to eat and water to drink, I get to see the sunrise and set everyday if I choose to and these things are gifts from God. But right along side of these gifts He also has given me grace and I NEED IT!!! I need His grace every single day. . . .every single day.


alright thats all I got for tonight. . .sweet dreams. . .peace and grace be with you!

always, momma avila

I have been studying proverbs with a small group of amazing ladies on Friday mornings at 630am. It is crazy I actually get up at 545am and love it. The sun is not even up and so I usually get to see the sunrise. Each time I see the sun rise or set I am reminded of how big God is—these are holy moments for me. I call this group the sunrise girls. This has been a great time of growth for me.

Proverbs is known for being a book full of wisdom. Wisdom is a great tool for living in this world and if you can apply this stuff to your life it helps you get into heaven.

I am working on lots of stuff—related to mouth, lips, tongue(no I am not being nasty---hehe). . .most people who know me know that I am opinionated, talk a lot, and have a potty mouth(especially when I am mad). Not too long ago I heard my son say “SHIT” when he was mad and I was very sad to admit that it was from me he had learned this. I really don’t need to explain my desire to adjust my vocabulary. It just isn’t cool anymore to curse. What I do want to explain, a bit, is my desire to shift the opinionated part. I am learning to embrace this about myself rather then try to change it. I believe that in the right light this is a good thing and Proverbs is helping me get this in the right light! Being opinionated can be a good thing--it helps with accountability stuff and speaking the truth is good. But, I have to be careful(wise) to recognize when my opinion is not going to be helpful to the situation-- when silence is golden!

A couple verses related to all this. . . Proverbs 12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Proverbs 17:9 He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.

Proverbs 17:28 Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent and discerning if he holds his tongue.


I hope this makes sense I am trying--thanks for reading--mommaavila

REST

This year Easter was an intense time for me for many reasons. One reason is because I found myself trying to convince someone I love that God wants to share their burden. The person I talked to did not think that this was possible and I know it is a really hard place to be when you feel a heavy burden on your shoulders and it seems like their is no light at the end of the tunnel. It is my prayer that through our discussion the holy spirit will stir in her heart and she will give God a chance.



This was not the only intense conversation I had that day and I am not complaining. I actually do well with intense. I definately felt tired though on Monday and so I tried to find some time to rest.


Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

If anyone reading this feels burdened with something or just feels lost or tired--God wants to share our burden!! I pray that you can open your heart to this truth-- that whatever you are burdened with if you ask God He will give you rest! Luke 11:9--"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

It sounds easy and it should be but there is so much stuff blocking us from this truth. The hard part is we must invite him in. The hard part is to trust that He is real and alive. The hard part is that this world tells us that if you feel burdened that their is a drug (or a drink or a massage or a new outfit or whatever else it might be) that can give you rest and this might work for a moment but it just doesn't last! The hard part is we have been hurt by people. I can go on and on. . .the point is there is a lot of stuff blocking us of this truth. The truth that God alone can rest your soul.

I pray for those that are reading this that you will wake tomorrow feeling more rested and maybe that will encourage you to ASK, SEEK, KNOCK!


with love, momma avila

Rules for Holy Living

Okay--so this is going to be a short entry. I added some text to my blog on the right side of the page(I think) read it if you like. This was sort of my 2009 resolution. I wanted to start 2009 with a verse that I would focus on and maybe even memorize and this is the one I chose. I am trying to live Holy. It is from Colossians. I don't really think I need to explain anything on this one. But, I am always available for questions!!

with love, momma avila

NOT OF THIS WORLD

I have a sticker on my car and the letters are NOTW. sometimes people think it says NOW with a cross through the middle. Either way I get lots of questions about what it means and so I am going to try to explain.

Let me mention that I also often wear clothes that are made by these people
http://www.c28.com/needjesusMENU.asp?adid=notw_site this is their website and they offer a lot of great information. More then I can deliver in this blog so I encourage you to check it out!

In John 17:16-19 Jesus prays for his disciples--They are not of this world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I santify myself, that they too may be truly santified.

Okay. . . so this is confusing. . .right? . . .I will do my best.

**a couple defintions that will hopefully make this all easier to understand. Disciple= Anyone who believes in Jesus is his disciple. Santify=to make holy; santification is the ongoing work of the Holy Spirit in the hearts of believers. Holy= set apart for God; belonging to God. Holy Spirit- the third person of the trinity; he lives and works in the hearts and minds of believers.

Here I go. . .I am a disciple of Jesus, therefore He is praying for me. He is saying that as He(Jesus) is not of this world neither am I(or any of His believers). He is praying that I/we will be santified by the truth(the truth = God's word=The Bible). This truth, if I believe in it, will make me holy. If I am holy then I belong to God and not this world.

Yes, I live in this world-- but I do not belong to this world. I belong to God. To me that means I try not to let things of this world run my life like money, fashion, media, material possesions, worry, etc. --these things are of this world. God is love, trust, faith, forgiveness, forever, and much much more. These are what I try to focus on. Now don't get me wrong I am not perfect. . .I still struggle with things of this world and probably always will but my goal is to focus on God and not things of this world.

I hope this helps you understand better what the sticker on my car stands for.

Good night and sweet dreams!

with love, momma avila

parables

Hello--

For those of you that already know about parables sorry but 5 years ago I had no ideas what a parable was so bare with me. In the Bible there are these things called parables. My dictionary says a parable is a short simple story teaching a moral lesson. Jesus used parables a lot. I really enjoy reading the parables in the Bible. They are found mostly in the first 4 books of the New testament--Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

So the parable that changed my life is The parable of the weeds--Matthew 13:24-29 and then of course The parable of the weeds explained Matthew 13:36-43. I will not quote the whole thing but I will summarize the best I can. The story is about a farmer who planted good seeds in his field. But while everyone was sleeping his enemy came and planted weeds. When the farmers servants noticed the weeds they told the farmer. They asked him if they should pull the weeds. He said NO because while you are pulling the weeds you may also pull up the wheat. Instead they wait until harvest and separate them--putting the weeds into bundles to be burned and keeping the wheat.


So the first time I heard this story I had this feeling that I needed to understand this deeper. Thankfully I am not the only one and apparently that is why shortly after in the Bible there is a parable where Jesus explains what he means.

So in that parable Jesus's disciples come to him and ask him to explain the parable of the weeds. He says"THE ONE WHO SOWED THE GOOD SEED IS THE SON OF MAN> THE FIELD IS THE WORLD. AND THE GOOD SEED STANDS FOR THE SONS OF THE KINGDOM> THE WEEDS ARE THE SONS OF THE EVIL ONE AND THE ENEMY WHO SOWS THEM IS THE DEVIL> THE HARVEST IS THE END OF THE AGE AND THE HARVESTERS ARE ANGELS>

Okay okay are you getting this if not read that part again!!! Please!(remember this is what changed my life I get really excited about this stuff!)

Okay so then Jesus says "AS THE WEEDS ARE PULLED UP AND BURNED SO WILL IT BE AT THE END OF THE AGE> THE SON OF MAN WILL SEND OUT HIS ANGELS AND THEY WILL WEED OUT OF HIS KINGDOM EVERYTHING THAT CAUSES SIN AND ALL WHO DO EVIL>"

So there I was reading this and suddenly understanding why there is still evil in this world. I used to ask "if there was a God then why is there so much evil and bad stuff in this world." This was a huge reason that I did not believe in God. Also, I used to think it was my job somehow to get these evil doers. Maybe this meant talking about evil people behind their back(gossip), or maybe I would take out a soccer player that I played against who had previously fouled me(retaliation), or maybe I would be mean to someone who had been mean to someone I love. I used to think that it just made sense to do these things and people who didn't were weak!!

Now I understand 2 things a) that if I gossip or retaliate then I am an evil doer and I will also go to hell. So when people are mean it doesn't give me the right to be mean. and b) The reason evil exists today is because HE is waiting to the "end of the harvest" to decide who is evil and who is good. THAT MEANS YOU/I STILL HAVE A CHANCE TO BE SAVED!!! I don't know about you but I want to see what heaven is all about and I'm not that curious about HELL...


with love, Heather

this is where it all begins. . .

HI THERE ALL MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY--I decided to start a blog. . .why? well I like to read my friends blogs and I feel like it is a good way to keep people updated on my life. So, here it goes. Heather Louise Clobes Avila starts a blog. Hope you enjoy!!!


I recently attended a concert called the Rock and Worship road show. It was only ten bucks and i got to see Mercy me, Jeremy Camp, Hawk Nelson, and a couple other great bands. I have to say it was the best concert I have ever attended! I have seen many great performances(Metallica, GunsnRoses, Natalie Merchant) but this concert was far better. The bands were great and the ontario citibank place is awesome but more then anything it was the way the whole experience was focused on Jesus.

Anyway Jeremy Camp talked about Speaking Up Speaking Now and Speaking Loud --the link if you want to read more http://www.jeremycamp.com/speak.html -- but this opened my heart to the idea that I needed to let my friends and family know more about Jesus. That is what this blog will mostly be about. Please be open minded--open hearted and trust that I will do my best!


So since the intro this time is long i will keep the next part short.

Psalm 62:5 Find Rest, O my soul, in God alone: my hope comes from him. He alone in my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

This is one the first verses that really spoke to me. To me it says that nothing this world provides can bring us rest. I don't care what the guarentee's says. The only place we will truly find rest is with God. I can tell you that I have spent most of my life being anxious, angry, and just overall not content with things--this made me tired! I can truly say that as my relationship with God grows I am no longer angry(I still get angry sometimes but I am not a angry person anymore). I am absolutely content with my life; I trust that I am exactly where God wants me. I am still an anxious person at times but I rest knowing that my anxiety is safe in Gods arms and that He alone can handle my anxiety. . .I have found REST!!! Thank you, Jesus


FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON THAT WHOSOEVER BELIEVE IN HIM SHOULD NOT PERISH BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE. John 3:16